just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
