K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
