Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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