it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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