i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
