haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
