the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
