Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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