three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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