This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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