You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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