Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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