Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
