Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
