I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
