At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
