operation harelip BJ is a go
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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