the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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