she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
