He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
