so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
