Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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