I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
