you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize