she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
