its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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