We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
