sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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