whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I party with great urgency now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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