Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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