from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
