Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
