i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize