i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
