Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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