Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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