It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize