Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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