p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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