I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
