North Korea, Best Korea!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
