I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
