thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize