i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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