I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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