What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
