she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
