i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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