I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
