Don't you send me to vm
i think my mom watched the whole time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
