There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
