Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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