bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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