How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize