where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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