Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
