Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
