Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
