Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
