Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
