I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
