no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
