I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
