do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to sanitize my soul.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
