I'm gonna have a badass scar
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
In America we eat man semen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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