No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
